Updated: Sep 29
When we are innocent, vulnerable children, we are unable to discern that which is 'our stuff' and that which belongs to 'our parents (or caregivers)'.
We take onboard criticisms, anger and abuse - fired at us for our mistakes and mishaps (or for no reason at all) - internalising these beliefs and feelings as 'truth' about who we are, our value, our worthiness.
We lose touch with our innate specialness. That which is our birthright.
Make a choice right now - to reclaim your right to a deeper sense of worth in full awareness of your unique value.
Transform shame through understanding and action:
Ask yourself 'whose stuff' lies at the source of your feelings of unworthiness - for example, were you made to feel 'not good enough' because of someone else's sense of 'not being good enough' - we may have experienced this when we were yelled at for making a mistake, as our parent struggled in that moment to manage their own shame
Hold the thought, choose to believe the thought, that 'they too suffered'. They were likely unaware of their own sources of shame as they tried to raise you
With genuine compassion for their suffering, with heartfelt gratitude for their attempts to respond in helpful ways - visualise laying this firmly at their feet - hand it back to them now, that which was always theirs. It is their responsibility to heal, let it go now, feel it leaving you. Know this is not saying what they did was 'ok' - it is 'releasing you' from the burden of their actions
Turn compassion and forgiveness inward now, to yourself. Choose to simply know you were unable to respond in any other way, at that time. You were innocent, loyal and always working to survive
Take some time out and make connection to that which makes you proud to be you; deeply consider your capacity to get to this place, your resilience, your courage, your strength to choose a different path - the path of awareness
Lean into this version of you, with intention, every single day - immerse yourself in all that makes you feel valuable.
Waste not another moment feeling shame.
Stand in your unique worth. Own who you are.
Get in touch with me if you would like to work on this together.